One of the most difficult decisions of my life revolved
around staying together as a family or separating to make ends meet. Being
together meant holding on to my job, a newly acquired position, a salary and a
newly settled in apartment, whilst separation meant, leaving the job,
abandoning the position, quitting a salary and losing a home that we had been securing
almost a decade.
We found ourselves trapped in this situation just before
recession hit us and many around us. The year was 2008. It was a curved and
blinding road that we both had been travelling and there was never a time to
take a break or review the map. Needless to say, no matter how wise you may
believe yourself to be, you will face detours and diversions that will truly
challenge your navigational skills.
We were at these crossroads when I conceived Zain. Instead
of celebrating the news, I felt tears in my eyes and can never forget the worry
that clouded my senses, taking away the joy of having a baby. I just knew that I
couldn’t afford to leave my job. Also we couldn’t afford to keep any domestic
help, and the financial mess that we were sucked in, made us contemplate the
most dreaded of all decisions. That one week, which followed this revelation,
was one that truly tore my soul apart. I understood all arguments. They were
mathematically accurate and definitely added up to the senses. But the heart,
which had just started to beat, was defenceless and weak. And the thought of
deserting life was much more daunting than any other emotion that engulfed me
at that time. My pale existence perturbed my partner who was probably in the
same boat as myself.
After many tears and a life changing discussion, we decided
to have the baby but to sustain as a family, we needed to separate.
Despite the challenges that awaited our decision, our hearts
almost immediately synced and we made a strong resolve to get through it
together. I decided to complete my school year, saving every penny, realizing the
responsibility that comes with commitment. We never discussed the looming
uncoupling, but tried our best to hold on to hope and better prospects.
Nine months flew and on May 7th 2009, Zain Noman finally
came in to our lives. 
At that point, his arrival meant departure. We packed up in
a span of 45 days, and ventured into yet another unknown journey. Apart from a
few things, every piece of furniture was sold. The utilities that made my
children feel happy and provided for were uprooted. Every bit of comfort was
priced and in one transaction, our whole world was disposed of.
From a full house to a single room, the journey was
over-whelming and demanded sacrifice at every corner. Yet, the bundle of joy that I carried at 45 days
into my new room lightened up the gloom. Birthdays were celebrated on Skype
and occasional visits were a relief. Our 10th wedding anniversary came through
our separation and to mark the occasion, my husband gifted me with a promise
ring that I have never removed from my finger because the pledge that came
through such adversity meant forever.
A year went by and the gratitude for relationships and
family grew with time. My children adapted without any complaints to their new
lives and learned to value small gestures and every bit of effort that is put
into making someone happy.
On Zain’s first birthday, my husband surprised me with his
plans to get us back home. It was a joyous moment for us. We had been able to
manage and settle our lives through strong faith and resolution.
In 2010 we were back in Dubai, in a bigger apartment, with
the thrill to furnish it all over again. We started off our journey cautiously but
with stronger faith. In another year, I was offered triple the package I had
left my job at, and in a matter of 6 years, we rebuilt our lives from scratch
and continue to count our blessings.
This aspect or story of my life will remain special to me
because it taught me many things.
The right decisions aren’t necessarily the ones that come
through accurate or appease your sensibilities. They are sometimes the most
obnoxious or unfavourable ones. Also, doing the right thing, no matter what the
consequences, is important because the energy that comes through good things or
acts, leads to fulfilment and eventual success in life.
Nothing lasts forever. It is our disposition through joy and sorrow that adds or depletes our lives of gratification. That adversity makes you stronger and faith guides your intuition. That loss can sometimes mean recovering the invisible.
The fear and worry that consumed me on the arrival of my
little baby boy has been replaced with manifold joys and blessings. Today Zain
turned 7 and each time I celebrate his birthday, it reaffirms my faith in Allah
and how abundant He is with His blessings.
Today, I truly understand what Zain’s arrival meant. “A Promise
of Happiness!”
