The topic would instigate serious concern amongst us over abba's health, his safety and wellbeing and mostly, his sense of self. And while we wouldn't dare approach it with that "You need to rethink Facebook engagement", Abba was ruthless upon any intervention from us on it. The older, more daring siblings tried to take on this conversation with him of and on, but Abba wouldn't bother.
It started with an hour of browsing at first and as the engagement grew, he ended up posting pictures and changing his status throughout the day. People liked his fiery opinions and he enjoyed the attention.
The posts were varied. You could sense his moods. Some days filled with poetry, some with nature and his garden, and then the shift started. His strong political views raged his anger and growing disappointment. Mediocrity in any form started to annoy him. He became more and more impatient with the opposing view. Whatever opportunity he found to express himself, he didn't let it slip, despite pre-agreements on stopping at an eye gesture from us. He wanted change. He wanted to create his vision.
On every visit to Pakistan, I found abba less mobile. His activity was limited to sitting on the living room sofa with his neck protruding downwards and his eyes searching his ipad for photo editing tools. He could sit for hours, sometimes skipping lunch or dinner to get the right tone or fix the contrast. He would then post the pictures and wait for the comments to start. I found him smiling at his ipad while the political news continued in the background.
And so, it was no surprise that abba had multiple strokes which eventually led to his last breaths.. An active man all his life, an influencer people looked upto, a giver who made time for the smallest needs of strangers. Losing abba was hard.
His facebook profile became silent, but I would visit often to get inspired, in times of loneliness and hours of missing.
And so getting this notification today, smashed my heart to pieces. It shouldn't have, but it did. It felt like a final good-bye. The whole argument of Facebook and abba ending, with abba losing his side of the battle. Uncontrollable tears wet my pillow last night. He is nowhere now. I've lost him again, and he doesn't even visit me in my dreams like ammi. Unfriending him is not an option, and so I will wait for him to reconnect. One day. InshAllah.
