Happiness Follows

“But I feel I will be happy with him,” I went on with the argument feeling every bit agitated. “I fail to understand all your silly reasons!” My mother gave up feeling the same irritation. “Do you know how difficult your life will be? It’s only romantic in words. In reality, when you begin your life at scratch, it’s a task to get through a day!” Her logic was that of a concerned parent and I listened carefully. 

“I know that mum. We will work together and where there is a will, there is a way!” She looked at me, probably sensing a reflection in time! “Just give me a reason, why an established man does not appeal to your weird senses?” She asked me in a hopeless manner. “Mum, I don’t want to share my life with someone who has completed his struggle, acquired his status in life and does not really have any place for the enthusiasm of a new recruit! I want to build a life with someone. Understand failure, celebrate success and my presence should make a difference in his life.”

That was the logic that stated my source of happiness in life. The ability to create something out of nothing. Anyone who might have tried to plant a seed understands the joy and thrill of witnessing the first glimpses of life. And even though there are many invisible factors that lead to that achievement, the effort that underlines the success inspires you to move forward.

Happiness is a state of mind. It can make itself at home in the most unexpected scenarios. Often people toil in the hot sun looking for its shade, while it rests quietly in their shadows.

Sometimes it can be quite deceiving as well. People dwell in its deceit claiming their lives to be fulfilled and complete. And then one day, they are awakened by the sudden departure of this lie leaving an emptiness behind. This world has many faces. When you are influential and hold a position of authority, you will see people around you, following each and every word that you say and stamp it as the ultimate truth. They make you believe that your status in their lives is invincible. You thrive in that happiness feeling on top of the world. But that face of joy is indeed a lie. You realize that as soon as the rollercoaster takes the dip. The people who sang your anthems disappear and you are left alone to face the great fall. You mistake pleasure for happiness.

It is a false notion that happiness is abundant in wealth and success. I remember while teaching at a villa school in Dubai, I came across a child who was studying in Grade 4. He was much older than the other children and was mentally challenged. He used to sit in the classroom with a special assistant who managed his work. He belonged to a rich family who owned a popular Toy Chain Store. Despite the wealth and prestigious family name, the father could not afford to place his son in a recognized and reputed school as his son was not accepted there. He was blessed with all the wealth in the world, but that could not buy him the sheer joy of watching his son grow up and live a normal life.

Contentment is devoured in regrets and bad memories. Some people like to hold onto them holding no faith in their tomorrow. They blame themselves and their circumstances for taking away their precious time in life to fill it up with distress and disappointments. They can’t seem to forget those despicable people who broke their trust and left them in a state of constant complaints. The ticking of the clock holds no significance in their lives and their state of mind is a constant woe.

Happiness is indeed the most sought after emotion. It is not only abstract in grammar, but also in nature. All of us are in the journey to attain this mystery that eludes us further if we lose our focus.

If we sit back and try to remember the very first days of our journey, we always seem to reconstruct the simplest of memories that highlight the path we travelled. The times when we were all together under the same roof, in the security and love of our parents. The time when we used to build mud homes for the frogs that crowded our flower beds in the monsoon rain. The long drives that ended up near the water canal accompanied by simple dinner meals as hot chapatti with pickle. The screams of joy that filled the playground at the onset of rain. Surely, happiness lies in the simplest of our memories.

The laughter that brightens up the ambiance of a dull restaurant. A get together or reunion of a batch of old school friends. Nothing compares to the honest elation one feels at reuniting with one’s best years of life. Moments that mark a sense of togetherness and time spent in innocent future planning!

Happiness comes from putting your mind to work. It lies in constructing something new. It is important to keep the wheels turning. The more you tend to run after the illusion of paradise, the more you tend to lose sight of it. Happiness comes around to embrace those who engage themselves in development or strive to lay the foundation for something concrete. They understand that happiness does not lead, but rather follows.

Our attitudes more or less describe our state of happiness. Ill temperaments, pessimistic philosophers and complaining individuals almost never understand the prosperity that lies in a state of well-being.

Today I’m glad I made the choice to marry a man with whom I have practically encountered every possible challenge. I wake up every morning with something new to build or construct. There is no time to lose. No time to think about what could have been. The sanctity of belonging to each other and the joy of holding such meaning in somebody’s life is indeed a blessing.

The space that you opt for to create a life for yourself promises much laughter and happiness to follow.

I wish all my dear friends and blog readers, a Very Happy New Year!